She got pregnant immediately and left when the baby was just 6 months old and moved 5 hours away. Someone in charge needs to change the system. It is very hard to believe that 72 percent of fathers over that 10-year period were horrible parents who didn't want or deserve to see their children any more than that. How Can a Child Support Lawyer Help? Not all of us men are the same. The fathers who never pay, never visit, who want nothing to do with their children. oh ya.. that is not bitterness that is a fact. And their reason is because they want it to be paid before the child hits 21 years old. My son currently lives in a very hostile situation going back and forth between two households that are night and day different. People have no idea how many mothers also lose custody and end up paying child support they cant afford. Ive felt the same emotions as you, still feel a lot of them. The first was a rastafarian who claimed he could not cut hair like he used to, and planned to get an hvac license, $300 perge 30 days. So if that isnt a DEAD BEAT DAD WHAT IS? An then when she goes to court for it tbey charge her $500 an if she dont pay that they send her to jail. But there are also fathers who go through senareos similar to what I discribed above. The guidelines need to be taken back to the drawing board. How come they give illegal aliens welfare but dont make them get a job, any job to pay it back?????! My boyfriend of 5 years has a child that was a result of a one night stand. From businesses to governments, from tv shows and commercials to major league sports. Whenever he feels the need to put the daddy hat on. We live in a society where women are above men. The whole system is punitive, if I lose my job and cant afford an attorney to get my payments reduced they threaten to take away drivers license or put you in jail. Setting us against each other and gaining revenue in the process. A single person can not live off of 12,000 a year. I wouldnt trade them for anything. [1] Typically, it is paid to the parent with whom the children spend the majority of their time. I have 3 kids. SMH at all the ridiculous complaining on these boards whether the CP (usually Mom) is working or not. thats because they lower it so much . The best things you can do as a father who is seeking sole or joint custody is to remain an active part of your child's life. An agreement between the parents: If both parents agree, child support payments can be waived or stopped. She overindulges them, but doesnt save for their future. They NEED TO BE CHANGED or at least have these concerns be brought to light.. gtfoh. Terrible child support formula. We tried to fight this in court and he lost. As Graham points out, 29 percent of families in the system live below the federal poverty line. I get disability benefits and $700 does not do it a month. Yes we have dead beat dads but we also have dads that try. He put himself there by his own bad choices he should not be rewarded by lowering his,support to almost zero. Thats a different story. Child Support is a money-making scam used by the state who are financially motivated to enforce child support. Hint it aint the one footing the bill, I dont even have kids or have to pay child support and I can see that the laws are so unfair and sexiest its not even funny women that use the kids as pay checks are the lowest form of beings but the government awards them for doing so this generation is the hand out generation it is now normal for girls to pop out a couple of babys get free housing, schooling, insurance, food and phones plus get a hefty child support payment. Ive been going through a lot with this and the system needs to be fair. For example, a report out of Nebraska found that custody cases between 2002 and 2012 resulted in 72 percent of fathers only seeing their children 5.5 days per month. Sorry ur 50/50 custody was outrageous, but it works for many parents and it certainly is more positive a situation for most children to have both parents raising them normally. I work full time and receive a $250-300 check every 2 weeks. I grew up in this kind of situation and got to watch it from 3 different points of view of a child. I am a woman who flat out refused to take child support when the judge tried to award it in Oklahoma. Ive hired a lawyer, who couldnt change anything, and Im now over 100,000 in debt. I have rent and a car payment, phone, cable, auto ins. I highly disagree with 50/50 custody. Go do well and quit complaining about unequal laws. We have a 1970s narrative about a 2010s reality, Edin said. You will just have to represent yourself. Child support needs to be reformed where almost like food stamps where the money can be used for certain things like food, clothes and other essential things. Way to go legal system. 50 % of my income goes to cse and taxes. Tax offset is done based on the amount owed for ARREARS. And on top of all this what about his biological needs, he needs a relationship too. I make $80k per year, take home $3,900 after health insurance and taxes. Youre right though, hes brilliant (obviously you knew this when you had unprotected sex with him) all he had to do was get locked up for 8 years now he gets to kick back, have fun and not pay you. Children are not pay checks ! BUT they are all NOT deadbeats. youve been served. Anyone that thinks Child Support is fare needs to get a grip on reality! And NEVER MARRY BOYS! She was 34, and I was 16. I help them with their homework, have a good relationship with my ex wife and have my kiddos 3 days out of the week. The minute the lazy parent quits job the child support also ceases. He never picked up the children and NEVER spent time with them. He never offered to take or come to any of her appointments or any radiation treatments (Mon-Fri). You see, most opposing attorneys will run your credit score to asssess how juicy a target you are in order to get sued and your ability to pay, prior to compiling that 600 page compliant in court against you. Welp when it finally all adjudicates, $26,000.00 in legal fees later and all the alledged arearages and counterclaims for legal fees and punitive damages dropped and property lien remanded. It took 4 years of back and forth through the courts trying to get the time-sharing custody plan in place so the child support could be reduced but she kept stalling and wouldnt provide her tax returns because she knew it would be all over for her. Unfortunately, many parents avoid paying child support, using a variety of justifications. I sold my car and I walk with a back pack everywhere. The family court judge then denied my parenting time credit and credit for the health insurance that I provide for my children because my ex-wife is voluntarily unemployed, and is using the child support to support herself and her paramour. That is why they fight shared parenting legislation!? Sounds like you have sour because your ex found a new love and you are now forced to pay child support for YOUR children. I think the takeaway from all of these comments is there is no standard situation. I have always stood behind the fact that the state is prejudice against dads and is one of the main causes for deadbeat dads. I was in my childs life before she even was born. But life would go on, and the times would be pulled through. They are turning our children into disrespectful, hateful, unappreciative, entitled, narcissitic young adults who lack empathy, and have learned to lie cheat and steal as long as it is a means to their end, without remorse, without morals, standards, or integrity. Some fall victim to illness, job loss, accidents, and disasters and other uncontrollable things. Child support cases really arent handled on a case by case basis but some stupid formula that revolves around money. The problem is too many people are employed in this scam. 5) If a woman wants an abortion it is up to her. The third was an elderly man who when asked what he was doing with his time since he was out of work, he replied, sittin up at the house, $300 perge, 30 days. Its what is best. I further tried all my best to get him back but all my effort to get him back in my life did not work out. takes time and energy, and employers pay higher salaries to employees whore available for work anytime, can travel, etc. His child support payment was more than 1/4 of his monthly income and he had the child 50% of the time. In addition to our bedrock issues of men's equal rights, fathers rights and men's reproductive rights, The National Center For Men has consistently addressed dozens of other important gender issues . Should we be shocked that we are in the same position on the game board two years later? This class action is on behalf of *both* types of family court for wrongful victims of divorce-and-similar-with-kids *and* for wrongful victims of child protection services and includes suing on behalf of ANY parent affected by either family court type. No offense to your kids mom (mine is the same way), but shes probably a loser just like my ex. Reducing and, in some cases, forgiving arrears. I fought anyway, and now have a GAL that has equated me with a child abuser in his language and promises to punish me if I dont accept what she is willing to give me. Your poor excuse of Darwinian / Draconian dont have kids model is fascist and most relates to the Peoples Republic of China with child limitations. I have had custody of her since she was born. She was put in jail for two weeks once, not for the child support itself, but for lying to the judge. The child support system was originally a bipartisan policy reform designed to serve divorced parents who were steadily employed. Fortunately, after the family court adjudication, my CS is collected through payroll debit by probation court, and a quick comunique from the bankruptcy court to the family court clears the way. And if you have had a child out of wedlock, while the woman who bears the child starts out with custody, fathers can . Beging close minded and one sided is what is wrong with the system. We have no visitation schedules, as long as it doesnt interfere with school he can get her/see her whenever he/she wants/ is able. When they need food or clothes, who do they come to? To bring the courts on board, the state collection office was authorized to make payments to the courts for hearing child support cases. My baby mama was trying to get me to pay 80% of daycare and only give me visitations. Your wages will be garnished out of your check and sent directly to the child support office so the child support office can get their matching federal dollars which is a huge multi-billion-dollar industry for these states it is sad and corruption and its very worse taking children away from their fathers so the state the attorneys the judges can all make money off this deal sickening is what it is. It takes both parents to raise these children of today,,, its not just one parents obligation to foot the bill because they can hold a jobour problem is not the child support department Its babys having babys.grow up an take responsibility for your actions!! The parents should decide together how to pay for the kids extras, and the few required expenses should be covered by a legal agreement to split the costs. Have you ever considered getting a $140k salary instead of comparing salary differences? I think not. We all parent together and have boundaries to ensure my son can love all his parents- my kid is almost 18. I had to move in with family and my closest relative lives close to an hour from my children. I quit even trying to collect in 2009. Your money is good enough but youre not. There are support for the divorce side which wasnt helpful for my case. What is that??!! There are no outlets, besides grassroot organizations for single fathers to reach when dealing with child support cases. Try clothing four children pay for extra activities pay for sports pay for field trips snack money shoes school supplies medical expenses! Be independent or move on just like any couple whats the point in getting angry at a person who you already know is going to disappoint you. There is also a time limit in which you have to file your claim. My son will be 17 this year. The best answer so far madam, I like it, both should share responsibility, its ethical and moral responsibility if Courts and Law enforcement who are feminists by nature involve it becomes mess than anything else. Im currently saving money to take her to court and get shared custody, because Im afraid of trying to get full custody which is just down right impossible, which in Texas it damn near is. No such luck for moms. Could you contact me via email, I have some questions that I am sure you could lend me some advice on. 3. As a mother of 3 i really dont care if there dad oays me child support. 4. There is zero equality about it. Gets paid straight cash, and has since 1997. The case involved a South Carolina court order requiring Michael D. Turner to pay over $200 per month in child support. It is baffling how any woman could sit and complain when they are being majorly supported in almost every arena. Shes getting 45% of your net. I totally agree with you. Of course she has never taken me up on it thought. state DSHS numbers and the states are enticed with a 2-1 (every dollar they collect the feds cough up 2). And I can see when the child support check is cashed off my bank statements Each month its cashed a weekend I have my girls And the next week when I get my girls back They didnt do anything but sit on their tablets and didnt get snacks like they do with me (fruits and vegetables) but their mother does have a brand new car, The problem is no one wants to advocate for the fathers. Its easier for the courts when there is one custodial parent who gets regular, guideline child support from the other (noncustodial parent), but its worse for the children. KS sucksSupposedly we are a 50/50 state, but that is only if both parents agree. Ex. SInce the family of 6 receives so much state aid, I am now being taken back to court to pay twice the original agreed upon amount, even though in front of the Agency lawyer and judge the mother says she does not need me to pay more to support her other children. So why bother. 5. Our children are suppose to be the best of both of us. Can I Sue Over Being Sent To Court To Establish Paternity? Then she brought in a hand written note that anyone could of wrote. This way the parent can still continue to pay and the child doesnt suffer. 3. com, and i advice if you need his help too, . She got $1000/mo for one child she never let my husband or his daughters or I visit, while the rest of us had to survive on less than $1500 for three! Making physical contact with another person in a harmful or offensive manner is a crime. There are bad mothers and there are bad fathers. However, when his ex allowed first his daughter, then his son to drop out of school, drive without having a license, and let their current boyfriend/girlfriend move in with them, the courts did nothing. This is the best way in my personal opinion. Im better, No, Im better. Women are MENTALLY and FAR more physically abusing them men. My bf is an amazing dad and from day one tried his best to be an active parent. There will be someone out there that will be honest and get you through this. We dont mull and wait and wonder. (UPDATED) EveryoneNOW THIS IS A MONEY HUNGRY WOMAN!You can NOT milk a dry cowThats like making a homeless man pay for someone elses mealsWhen your down and out there are many out there that will continue to kick you. What I do have an issue with is the state telling me I also owe $23,000.00 for interest which has accrued since then, which I find to be TOTAL b.s.!!! Lisa although I understand from your perspective you share about single mothers. If a father becomes unemployed and then takes a lower-paying job, a reconsideration of the amount of child support due might be appropriate. I was even told to stop trying to get out of your responsibility. No tax breaks for the dads. Costs to raise a child should be split 50/50. And continue to incentivize the worst women to destroy their soon to be ex-babys daddies. Outburts, cops frequently called, manipulation out the wazoo, litigation after litigation, anxiety at an all time high, my son in therapy, and me terrified about what my childs dad is willing to do next to make a point. I asked to use a child support trust account in the form of a shared checking account that both parents contribute to in order to share the responsibility for providing for my childrens needs. She refused to let the kids see their dad unless he joined her religion- so he did. I do feel its important that my daughter spends an equal amount of time with both parents, but now Ive come to discover that she maybe hitting her boyfriend in the face just as she did with me when she got mad. She did not work the first 7 years which was no complaint since she was home with our child. I got it. the mother is so nasty that there are roaches in their house. Now look at it from my standpoint; the wife of the husband whose wife married him just long enough to get pregnant and leave. Child Support was never designed to be about the child. And so the father is screwed . WTF?!?! I was in relationship with my boyfriend and we were planning to get married soon and all of a sudden he left me for another girl, i really love this guy and never can imagine my life without him. 3) If you are out of work, and you dont pay child support, what? Custodial parents should be required to document actual costs of the child (day care, health care, clothing, extra curriculars etc) and there should be an equitable split of these costs between the parents (based on earning ability, education etc, not whether they want to work or not). I sooo agree with you on this!!! 1. Every divorced guy I know would take over primary custody of their kids in a heartbeat, even if it meant they would receive no child support from the mother. He is now married with 2 adorable children, his wife has a good job (they can pay the bills and provide necessities for the children and themselves, and some wants), and they decided they didnt want someone else raising their children so he is the stay at home dad. Women in general did stand by their man in those days. Kids are not furniture. Get Divorced. Having children is. Its a guaranteed paycheck every month to the custodial parent in which they can do with what they please with little to no oversight.. As a side note/observation I saw a comment that was questioning why the mothers vastly greater income mattered.. And I do the right thing for my child. Child support an child support court are all biaist. Its more than enough for me. I lived with my kids and their mother for the better half of 14 years had a 65k year job and a lovely home.Only to find out shes kicking me out and moving her 2 time felon lover.Went to custody court several times and was told that since I was a hard core druggie and alcoholic that my rights were fully revoked.100% fiction.She lied and I was ordered to pay 1500 per month.throughout the time she had the kids he and her lived solely on my income.I went balistic when I found out all the empty 12 pack containers of beer were bought with my support money.I called cs numerous times and was told that I was to have no contact with her or the children whatsoever.I lost my job and was forced to take a minimum wage job and they were still charging me 1500 a month and they would not adjust the payment sending my past due skyrocketing.it quickly went from 13k to 75k in short order.I had to move in with my mother so as to not be homeless.Come to find out my kids were both living with his mother because of all the fighting they did.I contacted cs and let them know and was told that I was not paying enough and thats as far as I got with them.Both of my kids were removed from her to go live with their aunt and I still had to pay their mother.Im now in debt over 100k and my daughter is 24 been in jail 10 times and is currently looking at 5 years in state prison.And my son had to be raised by his aunt and is 21 in college.Im still paying her 850 per month. This lady is a classic example of someone who abuses and takes advantage of the system and the courts do nothing. Males get no choice in what you do. He showed up for both brain surgeries and one visit after. That is when CSE started. Didnt think so. No idea what mom was using all the money for. The majority still cry for more, while the suicide rates for boys and men rise 3 to 5 times higher than women and girls. The truth is, its just another out of control government institution justifying its own existence on the of backs of minorities. Modification is there for that reason. It also boggles the mind that women who have full custody need daycare. She would stay in bed til 2 pm and get up and make herself food. Im just trying to learn more about the situation. I pay what I can when I can but I wont be able to work at all if this happens and my girlfriend cant afford to support us both and shouldnt have to if the courts would follow the law and calculate the arrears and payments based on my actual adjusted gross income. Yeah nothing wrong with that. The last attempt at modifying the order she reported almost $17,000 in ONE of her savings while i sit bankrupt. My ex drives a 2015 new model car, I drive an 1989 toyota Camry. Yep. I have no problem paying but it seems Im stuck paying for all of it and her getting a free ride. MUCH simpler system to deal with than the politics of the North. Her Honor (sarcasm intended ) has stated that your wife [NOT my children] deserves that money and that she is not going to allow me to become a deadbeat dad. I had to apply for snap/TANF. So now Ive heard that shes going to serve me child support papers but I havent been served as yet so I guess thats yet to come. But as long as Dad sees Kid that one day, all is well! Instead the kids are living paychecks and bartering tools for the other parent. I paid all my child support out of my check directly. So tell me how this is possible but MEN should pay ? Make better choices and have respect for your childs mother. Theyve received my money, and have had their parents in their lives, from day one. He gets many phone calls on his show about this topic. Yea. Or, there is no real reason to continue. You sound like a mom that may has a deadbeat dad, envolved. And remember this a few minutes of sexual gratification is not worth 18 years of monthly child support payments . Until the Child Support Performance and Incentive Act incentive payments (which are actually kickbacks) for collecting child support are changed to stop rewarding states for increasing the gross amount of child support collected, I dont see this happening. I know one day when my daughter gets older her curiosity will get the best of her and she will find me and ask why. In my experience almost all divorced women claim to be abused. She stopped letting me get my daughter giving me every excuse in the book. The idea of stereotyping ALL fathers as deadbeats was a deliberate ploy to make the fathers the debtors, and the denigrating term was widely used. A more important point is that society doesnt generally put parents to some comparison group, test their traits and decide who gets to be parent in our society because its a fundamental human right. I continue to lobby my legislators to have them use a self-support sustenance reserve to allow them to tell the difference between deadbroke and deadbeat parents, and to then use that self-support reserve to measure child support compliance by the percentage of parents with the means to pay child support that are sharing the responsibility for providing for their childrens needs. I pay $1200 a month CS. The only thing that can again make the equation equal, is the ability of the man to decide if hes willing to be responsible financially and supportively for the child. Billionaire William Buffett was asked recently, What is the MOST important to be successful in life? My grand sons they found out in April has HLH a rare disease. you will never pay it off. He had the other 7 women on the show, but me. As of last week his drivers license was suspended and the job opportunity he had lined up has backed out because he cant drive for them without a license. Lets not forget the modern slave plantations we call for profit prisons. My ex wife had no job and I had a restraining order against her for domestic voilence. We live in a society where everyone is presumed equal until proven they arent. But 800.00 a month and 1200.00 on a 3 paycheck month, come on thats crazy. So do I feel sorry for him because he was jailed for non compliance with his job searches or when his tax refund is snatched (when he finally did get a job) and given to me to satisfy his arrears? So heres my situation. As it is I nickel and dime everything. Saying she owe her friend payments of 125 a week for watching my daughter. I explained to them but they rudely told me that I had to pay to avoid getting a letter for court. She gave custody to my father, but she also made him continue paying child support. I have to save for a month to be able to take them to a movie. This would motivate lazy parent to work. This problem can be easily solved with the help of an attorney. If the court told me that I could take the kid/s and make my wife pay me I could not even consider that a possibility. Also, you have to be behind $5,000 or $10,000 to be put in jail. How is this at all even remotely in the best interest of the child? And I cant stress this enough PLEASE DO NOT go and make more children if you cannot afford the ones you already have. Why I need answers because its ridiculous that he now will have to pay more than $500 a month. You want to be a real parent? I take care of my daughter. Work hard, get a better job and you wont have to worry about it. She was the deadbeat but the courts awarded HER!!. But it is obvious the current laws need significant restructuring. Both women and men are guilty of being that way.Women are not perfect and men are not perfect and as long as the courts are biased nothing will ever change. You dont need a driver license to get to work if you dont have a job and are not looking for one). Was more than $ 500 a month dad sees kid that one day, all well. Changed or at least have these concerns be brought to light.. gtfoh is paid to the drawing board hearing. Of view of a one night stand waived or stopped email, i drive an 1989 toyota Camry pulled! 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